Top Ten Suggestions For Driving Like An Idiot

10.  Talk or text on your cell phone while driving at speed.

9.    While talking to your passengers look at them, not the road.

8.    While talking, use frequent hand gestures to illustrate your point.  Gesturing with both hands is ideal.

7.    Change lanes at the same time you turn on your blinker. Do not check to see if next lane is clear. Ignore any honking you may hear, obviously they were in your way.

6.    Weave recklessly in and out of traffic at 20mph over the speed limit. Scream at the other drivers for not getting out of your way.

5.    When you see a highway patrol officer, come to an almost complete stop in the fast lane.  Do not move out of anyone's way as you do this.

4.    When you are in the fast lane and see you are about to pass your exit, cut across traffic to reach it.  Go over the median if you need to.

3.    Do not use the cruise control while driving on the freeway.  If someone tries to pass you, you will be able to quickly speed up.  Of course, then you will need to slow down again to conserve fuel.

2.    Drive with your head in the clouds.  Long trips on the freeway can get boring and monotonous.  Use your imagination and look at your surroundings rather than the road as you drive.

......and the number one suggestion for driving like an idiot:

1.    Get in, start the car and pull out of your driveway.

**Why, nooooooo.  I haven't been on the road with any idiots recently.  Why would you think that?  0,o*